Instead of a Christmas Card

I must admit that I suck at Christmas cards. Twenty or so years ago I actually bought Christmas cards and sent them out. With photos. And a xeroxed “letter” and personal greetings included therein. Yeah, I used to do that. Then I got lazy and stopped. I felt guilty after a few years and finally started sending a blanket Christmas email “news and greetings” bulletin. This was impersonal, but it was an attempt to connect, at any rate. Then I got lazy and stopped. Now we have facebook, and blogspot, and I have been feeling guilty for a few years, so it has come to this. It seems inevitable that at some point I will get lazy and stop. You see the pattern?

At "Holiday Season" 2009 I feel that we three Everetts really are standing on the edge of a decade. Things are shifting in our lives. It all seems so quaint, thinking back to the big 1999 party we had ten years ago, with little toddlers and glowy aspirations for a new millennium. That time has spun past in the blink of an eye and now my sweet and precious little baby boy is a hairy knuckley pre-teen. He would hate me for telling you that if you look closely enough you can still see the precious on him even though he is now taller than his mom.




Dexter is pensive and funny, shy yet firm. He got the music gene, progresses well in piano and has just begun his guitar lessons as well. If you wonder if I love him, I offer the news that we got him an electric guitar for Christmas. This makes me the world's coolest dad, just in case you are wondering. I think I should get some kind of I.D. badge that says so. I am proud of his diligent work and accomplishments, but mostly I am proud of what a nice and honest person he is. He has just taken a break after 5 years of Karate training. He has a few good mates and they amuse me immensely with their goofy ways and fart and boner senses of humour. They still squeal like little girls when they play x-box together, but I expect that testicles will be dropping like late-fall apples around here pretty soon. Next year he will enter High School. This blows me away, and that is as it should be, I expect.



Susan and I find ourselves older (and, I hope, wiser) this year. We both recently turned 45, which I refer to as “halfaninety”. I am kinda digging it. It seems to me that my forties have been some of my most fun and fulfilling years so far. I have pondered the concept of being a late bloomer. I am thinner and fitter than I was through my thirties for sure. My silly fascination with tattoos culminated in my second upper sleeve, this time on the right arm. I love my ink and would like more…. But Sue and I agree that it is her turn. I have enjoyed life as a hands-on parent to a precocious post-toddler. The elementary school years, which have been so wonderful, will end abruptly in a few months, and change will inevitably follow for the three of us. I try not to focus too much on how great my life is for fear of jinxing myself.





I cannot speak for my wife (woe betide!) but I will dare to speak of her. She is the plum in my pudding and the electricity in my hair dryer. I cannot imagine how she puts up with my foibles and ways. She works like a Trojan to put food on the plate and wine in the belly, she mothers the boy with verve, gentleness and grace and manages to remain hot and saucy throughout. Lucky me! We have been married for more than 18 years now which means we have even begun chatting, in a cursory fashion, about some sort of 20th Wedding Anniversary Event. I suspect something with Burlesque Dancers and a Roast Pig would be fun. If a party has pork and dancing girls it can't help but be a success!

Life has found a nice rhythm here for us. We bought the house 13 years ago, had a kid, and stayed. On the surface, it seems like not so much has changed. Susan still works at VCC and I still work at the Comicshop. There are some differences here around the most excellent East-Van Homestead. Moderate landscaping and home improvements have occurred. It seems that we have been gardening for a few years now, and things besides ourselves have taken root. The place looks pretty good, but I notice I need to paint the house... AGAIN. When you are starting to re-do things like that to your house, it tells me that you've been there a while. I have developed a strange desire to raise bees and honey, and I am just crazy enough to try it this year, so if you come to visit and hear buzzing I suggest caution.



Susan and I still sing a cappella. We actually just celebrated that with a concert looking back at our 22 years of singing harmony together. It brought a few things into focus for us. I suspect we are much better musicians now than we were “back in the day” when we were gigging. It might have something to do with removing that pesky profit motive. I have noticed that, for me at least, some of my closest relationships have been forged in singing harmony. Most specifically I mean Doug and Katrina, who have been singing with us now for 12 and 18 years respectively. We laugh and sing together in a way that I deem most spectacular. In our fall concert we were able to pay tribute to past members and even had my sister-in-law (and founding member) Elske sit in for a tune. I am sad that Katrina will be moving up to the Sunshine Coast this spring, but we all resolve to continue our music together. There are plans for new repertoire, recordings and more frequent gigs. And more trips up to Madeira Park, which is an excellent thing and well overdue.




Over the past year we have done some fun things. We have managed to get the entire Everett Clan to cabins in Silver Lake, Washington for our third annual Victoria Day Weekend Wine and Bocce Festival. We must be getting smarter because this year we didn’t need to be “spoken to” by the park ranger. We also initiated the new tradition of fresh-caught frog racing, which I deeply and sincerely hope we can repeat each and every year, even when we are in wheelchairs and have to hire other people’s kids to catch the frogs.

Our sons and father activities soldier on. Unfortunately we were not able to compete in (and win) any cook-offs with the Circle E Chili Team this year. Dad and Pat did manage to join me on the roof of Dexter’s school to give a demonstration on the finer points of chili cookery, which is likely more important. Give a child chili, she eats for a day, teach her to make it, and she farts for the rest of her life.






Our annual Remembrance Day Pub-Crawls with Dad continue much to our delight. I think we’ve done six now, but I can’t be sure because memory is a bit sketchy on it all. We posed by the Steam Clock in Gastown, and we looked happy. I have the picture. I’m surprised they let us into the swanky hotel lounge for Harvey Wallbangers late in the process. Two was the right amount by the way, because they were so damn delicious.

Susan and I have honed a new maneuver called the “Dexie Ditch”. After his last birthday we realized that there was no conceivable reason why he couldn’t stay home and play his x-box while we snuck off to watch a Burlesque show. I think you could call it “Freedom 12”. Since then we have initiated the October Kelowna Weekend of Wine Tasting with the most excellent Erin. Don’t worry… when we ditch Dex for more than a few hours he is supervised.



Susan and Dex and I managed to brave the late July sun and spent some time on the Olympic peninsula and at Mount St. Helens for summer vacation. We got to see Volcanoes and Military submarines and I got to ride my bike in the countryside. There were ‘50’s diner burgers and walks on the beach. It was an extremely satisfying summer vacation.




There have been times when sadness and loss lead to happiness and love. Last September our dear family friend David Hill passed away. He was a mentor to my brothers and me and a close life-long friend to my parents. In the face of this sadness my three brothers and I drove to Calgary and stayed with My Grandma Betty (88 and still going strong!) to attend the service. I like to think that the Brothers Four can put the "fun" in funeral. The fraternal laughter and bonding was priceless, and leavened our grief. I would have felt a bit guilty about it, but I am certain that Dave would not have had it any other way. It all reminded me of that Calgary childhood I had, and the cherished relationships I still carry from those days. My cousins showed up to support us, and we were able, in some small way, to help support Dave’s daughters and widow, who are some of the best folks on earth. Mo, Amanda, Mavis and Nic: you are in our hearts and thoughts.







And so, as the cosmic wheel spins, there is a new baby, as well. My spunky cousin Lindsay just gave birth to a new Nault. She and Matt are the proud parents of little Holly, who joined us early in the morning on Boxing Day, before the sun came up. I had forgotten my deep mystical powers and joked that it was likely that Lindsay’s water would break at the Christmas Dinner table. I was not far off. Lindsay and Matt were able to open some presents, but before dinner and by 6 pm, they were off to have a baby. Sorry about that. Was it Stan Lee who said, “With great power comes great responsibility”?




Life is full, perhaps too much so. There are things we missed because life got in the way, like Nic and Steph’s most excellent P.E.I. Wedding. More and more I see my friends and family being out of reach, physically speaking. Some of you are off in Australia or Britain or even darkest Mission. Another year tips over and I haven’t seen you, or visited where you are, and that is a bit disappointing. But we are connected. These computer things help a lot, and you are in our thoughts. I hope that your lives are great, and that you get everything you want out of life in the coming year. If you are one of those who still resolutely sends us Christmas Cards, I humbly thank you for your generosity. If you used to send us cards, but stopped because I got lazy, that’s okay… I get that. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Yule, Festivus, Solstice, Hanukkah and any and all other dark days of winter ritual celebrations. Whatever you're up to, we send our best wishes for it. I hope that you’ll accept this facebook bloggy seasonal greeting instead of a Christmas card. I suck at Christmas Cards.